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       Date: Nov. 06, 2019
       Location: University Commuter Lounge, Purple Sofa
       Mood: Noise Whirlwind in an Open Field
       Music: Taeko Ohnuki - Mignonne
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       Currently still trying to process how things are going to work out in
the future. Yesterday I had a surprise interview with a large company for a
back end developer position over next summer. It was meant to be a technical
interview lasting for about one hour. It ended up being a flurry of questions
lasting 25 minutes, each one rubbing me the wrong way. Something about the
whole process seemed very calloused, especially after being dismissed without
being asked a single technical question. Not a single line of code drawn out
or discussed, pseudo or otherwise.

       Oh, and this was all over a videocall online, after a series of
technical issues with audio on their end.

       Twenty minutes after the interiew ended, I received the rejection
email. Everything had happened so quickly, it seemed so slipshod, unprepared
on the part of both parties. Overall, it was a pretty debilitating day for me
and my family, who all suffered through their own issues during the course of
the day.

       Now I'm sitting in my university's commuter lounge during my office
hours. Nobody ever asks me anything anyway. I have a math midterm in about
30 minutes which I do not feel particularly prepared for. The semester ends
in four weeks, and I don't have anything lined up for next year. All my
friends are receiving interview after interview, offer after offer. It's
quite discouraging, the idea that I'll be stuck here working some retail job
because I couldn't land even a base level internship during my time in
school.

       There are still options for me next summer, so it's not as bad as I
make it out to be. But I'm still in the process of making things happen. I'm
always busy with too many things for my liking.

       I've been struck with the urge to continue working on my writing,
especially in the middle of November with NaNoWriMo. I don't plan on fully
completing anything of that scale in a month, but I'd like to get more work
done on the book I'm writing. Progress continues to be minimal. I'm stuck in
a rut. I can't find time to write when I want to, and when I have time I'd
rather work on other things.

       What about you out there in gopherspace? Are you working on anything
during NaNoWriMo, or just feeling inspired this month? I'd love to hear what
kind of creative ventures you're all immersing yourselves in. Feel free to
send me an email at [email protected]

       Thanks,
       - Ben

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