a curious thing happened today. for a moment, i lost the urge to doom scroll. i took a break from work, sat down, pulled out my phone, and decided i didn't want to scroll anything. there just wasn't anything that interested me.
not sure what that means. i decided to meditate for a bit, then went back to work. i think this is a good thing. less phone can't be bad.
it has been difficult to find the motivation to work lately, i'm not really enjoying what i'm working on. but, that's work for me in general. always has been, and that's the curse of the adhd brain. movitvation and interests come and go. my involvement in sdf/gemini is an interest that has come, and it will go. i will enjoy it while it lasts and move onto the next thing. maybe i will learn to solve a rubik's cube.
motivation at work at the moment is twofold:
1. do good work
2. finish it so i can get to the next thing
the project i am working on is something i've wanted to do for a long time. so i have sort of built things up in my head, and the mismatch between expectations and reality has been difficult to overcome.
i'm glad to be working on it. but it has been going for a long time, and i have needed several different kinds of motivation throughout.
i think i am hitting a stride for now, and i feel ready to capitalize on that.
