Oh boy oh boy. It's day one of working on Marcus and it's already
a bit of a struggle. I ate some adulterated chocolate and then went
to a comedy show on Friday night. After getting high I think that
my judgment is impaired as much or more than drinking. I was a bit
disappointed in myself . I drank about 5 babies, and had 4 shots
of liquor. I was like oh dear this is a bit too much bu then the
next day I went and saw a comedy show again but this time I drank
liquor drinks trying to limit the volume of calories. Well that
was Ok I wasn't nearly as drunk as before.
Outside of the Velveeta room I had three conversations I would like
to try and remember recently.
1. Friday: I was putting the sign out for Joe and talking to him
and I said I almost died. When I said that a man who was walking
by that was in a state stopped to tell me about the time he was
shot and how the bullet went around his rib-cage, out of his side,
and into his arm. After the wounds closed up he had an undiagnosed
secondary infection that resulted in him being very bloated and
sick. He had the auto drunk problem and other ailments. His daughter
hugged him and he could feel this jelly of all the bacteria squishing
around. Some of it slumped down his leg and when it turned black
he went to the doctor. they gave him antibiotics and he lost over
30 pounds as this colony finally left his body. After the bacteria
left he had recurrent infections in his leg, until very recently.
He continued to get closer and closer to me and more and more
desperate in his communication. I hope that by hearing his whole
story and listening to him it helped him some. The population of
downtown characters is not as wide as it once was but those that
are left I think I can get along with.
2. Saturday:
(A) I chatted with Rabon and Wilcoxson outside at
different times. I think I have ADHD or some other disorder. I
can't seem to finish anything I start, and I lose interest in things
really quickly. I can't focus, and I have trouble forming and
maintaining relationships. I don't know. maybe its something else.
I've been afraid to talk to anyone because I am afraid of getting
prescribed something that is habit forming. I asked Rabon if that
was an irrational fear, and his take on this issue. He assured me
that it wasn't an irrational fear, but that it is very much how
you as an individual handle those kinds of inputs. After a few more
minutes of talking I felt significantly better, and think I'll go
visit a therapist.
(B) I asked Wilcoxson if the three steps of a
story framework is required. He let me know that it is a good
starting point, and that after you get better you learn when you
can and cannot break the rules. This was referred to as higher
order rules in one of the talks I saw at LISA. the talk at LISA
was describing what was an expert. I felt good after talking to
them.
Went ahead and visited the coffee shop and wrote a letter to my
mom. I'm going to play some mine craft now because I don't want to
go home and clean.
