=========================================
#
# Location: Home
# Input Device: Voice and Keyboard
# Audio: Air Conditioner
# Visual: messy desk
# Energy: high caffeinated
# Mental: low intensity rush
# Emotional: anxious sad mad
#
=========================================
Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Today was an emotionally
complex day. I felt heard and also felt like I was part of a
community. This is something that I've been missing and that I
think I've been feeling very lonely about. It's the sense of not
belonging and being outside of the group.I had a one on one with
my manager, and after kind of explaining how I was feeling he
shared his perspective. He articulated some thing that I've been
trying to say, or I have been saying, but nobody understands! The
team needs to have common goals and tasks that allow it to work
together and share in successes and failures to build
camaraderie.
Personally, I had success with my to do tablet again today. I was
able to check all of my ticketing systems and go to my meetings
and pretty much keep track of all my big items. There are a few
smaller things that fell through the cracks, but they fell
through the cracks because they're smaller things so fingers
crossed.
There's a comedy show tonight at 2130 since I'm so hyper might
go out to it. I've been going to bed around 2100 to 2200 lately.
Final thought: One of my coworkers is into motorcycles like I
am, well also. He has an big, nice bike, and he likes to go out
on rides but where we differ he doesn't want to or chooses not to
ride the motorcycle all the time. He uses it as a hobby, or a
diversion. I don't know why this bothers me so much. Who am I to
say? I have no place or authority to decide what makes someone a
motorcyclist. I don't think I'm jealous no, but I'm not sure what
this feeling is.
