I was hoping to go home today, but the doctor claimed that we had
already agreed upon that I should stay for a couple of days more, and
that I can't "check out" in the weekend. So here I am.
They have loosened upon my restrictions a bit. Previously I was
offered guarded walks in the park if I needed fresh air, today they
allowed me to travel home unacompanied to get some stuff. I wonder
what would happen if I did not return back within the time we agreed
on.
My days are empty. I sit in a chair and look out of the window. All
day. Every day. They drug me down, heavily. My arms feel weak, my body
is heavy. I don't have energy or will to read, or entertain myself in
any way. My thoughts are slow. My mind feels heavy.
In the morning I have to sit in front of a lamp for 20 minutes. There
is a wall of strong lamps, with a row of chairs in front of it. Each
morning patients are placed in front of the wall, while the nurses
keep time. 20 minutes, and then back into my room.
This is my third day in the mental asylum, soon I'm going to bed.
