Never goes away. I'm 43. 1/2 way mark. Here's a pro-tip: Notice
what age you compare yourself against. If you compare yourself
"you at 15", you're damn old for 15. Compare yourself to 25, and
you're a young 25. It helps. the answer for that for me has been
pinning the fullness into the nowness. Now is about 6 seconds
long or so. I have a service oriented personality - I like to be
helpful. I get fulfillment in that. So, when I'm talking to
someone I ask if I'm choosing the most effective words to convey
to them that I understand, they're ok, and they're strong enough
to handle whatever life throws at them.
You are. Yet, you're also more than that. It's ok to play a role
that isn't you because the real you isn't touched by the
role.Some people believe your life is a story and you can change
the words, change your character in order to be yourself. And
that works.. to a point. But then you're also more than the
roles you perform. You perform roles for others. You perform
roles to yourself. Yet then there's the you without the role.
It's there.
Yeah definitely. I don't often mention God because that word
sets off triggers in many people. My definition for God might
not be theirs, and usually isn't. I don't even use the word to
myself much and find other ways to say it. But yes, definitely.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for everything that came before
and I wasn't in control of any of the circumstances that led to
my birth, and the fact that I'M STILL HERE is amazing. I could
name 1000 reasons why I shouldn't exist. But I do. That part
makes look around and go, HOLY SHIT, I'M HERE. a lot.
*nice. I like that. If you feel the warmth of the inner hearth,
the Hestia within you, you're never alone and you have a center.
But yeah - the river. You're of it and in it, but not it yet
it's also you. I could koan all day because this stuff makes
sense to me. It is; and there's many roads. I feel bad for
people in mystical-poor sytems because they really miss out of
the good stuff. Oh socially yes. But on a personal introspective
level, it's all yours. Oh yeah. heard about them. we had them
int he 80s... the 90s, 00s, 10s... I don't care for systems that
mentally abuse people psychologically... that includes the
education system as it stands btw as one of the worst
offenders... so I help when I can.
Means everything's absurd. My mother loves an expression, "Man
makes plans and God laughs". Also, there's the Platypus.
I know the experience well. Are they jokes? Probably most likely
yes they are. Start laughing at the absurdity of it. Imagine the
look on your own face when you discover the irony and laugh like
an outsider might but without feeling offended and instead
laughing along.
I have no idea of that will make sense smile emoticon
