it just means for a BRIEF moment you considered it and then
quickly rejected it, probably less than 1/4 second later.
The fact that it even crossed your mind as the REMOTEST
possibility would be my "foot in the door". That's why I don't
do it. I know too much unfortunately and its manipulative.
There's a lot of ways you can get life-fulfillment without
requiring a partner. But I think one thing that's hard to live
without is not having someone else UNDERSTAND you... at least a
part of you.
If you can feel that someone else 'gets you'.. and is willing to
put up with your crap - it's worth the world. It's ok; being
lonely sucks. I get around it by amassing thousands of friends
online. Real life is meh mostly - I own a house full of women,
mother, inlaws, brother, nephew, nieces... and it's insanity. 12
people in one house.
So, I do the "cave thing" in a way and sit on the back screen
porch and do what I'm doing right now: Make friends online, talk
to them, get someone to "see with my eyes for a moment.
For me, it's lots of little bits of fulfillment that I doubt I
could get from a single person. Maybe I could. But I'm also
weird. I'd never want to be a role model. Babies who aren't held
after they're born, eventually die. So it seems that humans
require a form of social contact to even be alive.
If they don't have social contact, they talk to themselves - a
society of one based on the people they knew from the past or
imagine.
So yeah, a bond is critical for life. We're doing it now; why
else are we on facebook having this discussion? I guess when you
have a single partner-for-life, it's a richer bond I suppose
than just a few words tossed back and forth.
I just didn't like the intensity of it. The whole "swept off my
feet" thing was a bit much and I lost my head a few times and
afterwards, sat there shaking my head saying, "WHAT HAPPENED!?"
