Or am I back to square one? Or is this just something I have
  been given to struggle with?   Moving to the monastery will be
  the best thing. Do you wait? If you continue to wait, what seems
  to be where you keep returning to, what do you do with each day?
  You had it all mapped out, time and time again. Yet, the only
  time you ever seem to get anything done, it is spur of the
  moment, without much planning, and letting God handle everything
  else for me.* Me me me me.* Oy!