I'm glad you overcame whatever hurdles you had in childhood.
It's the "nature/nurture" thing. Depending who you ask, some
emphasize one over the other, sometimes one to the exclusion of
the other. But a bit of looking back at one's own past seems to
be the thing that puts it into perspective. It's like we're born
with traits: twin studies seem to show that, especially the
widely separated from birth. [most extreme example I know is one
raised Nazi and one raised Jewish during the second world war]
At the same time, we may have TENDENCIES towards certain ways of
thinking and behaviors but the environments we're raised in can
amplify or inhibit. Let's say I'm sociopathic by nature. [I'm
not thankfully but I could've been]. I'm raised in a house that
teaches the rationality of kindness, decency, the importance of
getting-along with others, following rules because they're
ultimately practical, etc. The extremes of sociopathic
tendencies can be tamed. In extreme cases, threat of punishment,
which works for sociopaths in closed environments, is available.
I find that a good case for nurture making a big difference and
also a good case for the importance of reasoning, especially in
people whose empathy skills are lacking or nearly unavailable
due to whatever they're born with. So, statistics-be-damned,
you're here and you're not abusing. Why? Probably something only
you could figure out for yourself with your own stories and
experiences.
