One of my followers on G+ (I have like 6800) is a teenager who
  likes posting stuff like this. I usually ignore these posts
  because I don't really have anything to add. (he/she - I'm
  pretty sure she but I think she's doing the fluidic-gender
  thing, so I'll say he out of respect for her choice). Anyway,
  this one showed up on my stream/feed and I couldn't ignore. Too
  much fun. Here was my answer: --- Untie your arms, put a blanket
  over you, try to find out who tied you up without being pushy,
  get some zinc oxide for your cheek bones - they look wind or sun
  burned. Then I'd ask if you needed anything else - cup of Raman
  noodles? *TV? *Then shut out the lights, leave the room, then
  call the police on whoever tied you up. If you tied yourself up
  or if it was somebody you WANTED to tie you up, well, then I'd
  skip the last step and just buy you a new belt, because that one
  doesn't close properly.

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