Speaking of ideals and ideologies, when it refers to the
individual (I'm an individualist); one becomes enraptured by an
idea that resonates with something within. They may wrap
themselves totally up into the ideology, join groups, form
connections, do things.
Then... they leave the ideology. They move on. They do other
things.
But what happened to the idea? Where did the ideological system
go once someone abandons it?
Well, they lose the baggage around it. The specific word forms,
the constructions, the manners that were unique to that
ideology.
But the idea and the systems they constructed within, remain.
They become a part of who you are and how you think and you
don't always even see it happening.
I had a shock experience the other day - cognitive dissonance. I
don't get them often anymore so it's weird/awesome when they do.
I believed for years that I had read/experience Osho as a
teenager. I've been going through my life, chronicling
everything and went through all of my past purchases on Amazon.
I thought I knew my life story pretty well at that point.
But no: The purchase of the books that influenced me so, were in
1999 - some of the 1st books I bought on Amazon. I couldn't
believe it! By that point, I was, I dunno, 27, 28 yrs old. Not a
teenager at all.
How could my memory fool me like that? It took a day of "woah"
and fighting the dissonance while I was doing normal everyday
stuff to reconcile it.
It's because the ideology, while losing the baggage, BECAME how
I spoke, how I thought, informed concepts already existing
within and expanding them in different directions.
While it built upon what I already thought... my memory
backfilled the past and placed this guy's writings as 10 years
EARLIER in my personal history.
Hard to explain the experience. If you've ever seen "The
Butterfly Effect" or Inception... yeah, it was one of those
moments. Disturbing but amazing at the same time.
