I had an epiphany while watching an incredible documentary on
"Refrigerator Mothers"; moms of autistic children from the
60s+70s who were blamed for their child's autism.. and the
strain and pain it caused them through the decades. of course
they're nurturing and loving mothers; the guy who came up with
the refrigerator mother theory was pretty much "The Autism
Expert" so there wasn't anybody to question him for a very long
time.* And - he was wrong. At the same time, as I was watching
these older mothers interact with their adult autistic children,
I realized something: It's not that the autistic people were
mindblind, couldn't read emotions, etc - the problem was that
people who have been brought up and believe in such a thing as
"normal" CAN'T READ THEM. It was a flip-flop in my brain.* In
other words, it's fine if one wants to try to socialize autistic
children but in the end, the flaw isn't with the autistic
people, the flaw is with the society who tries to make them fit
in so that we can predict their thoughts and behaviors...
because then they'll be following patterns that society knows,
understands, expects. ie - autism is primarily a social
disorder, not a medical one. I knew that already, but watching
the mothers who have been trying to reach out to their children
for decades were really reaching out to want their children to
behave in a manner that they, the mother's, could comprehend and
understand the social clues of. That's not a bad thing; I'm not
criticizing it at all.** But now I'm certain the fault lies in
the training we all receive when we're young... and more and
more things really are what I suspected for years; social
problems, not medical problems.* Not life or death.* Not
dangerous.* Just...not following expected patterns of behavior.
