^Effective Nagging
I don't like nagging. I don't like constant reminders, nor do I
like giving them. This note is for parents and also for kids who
want their parents to do something, but also husbands/wives,
friends, bosses, teachers.. and I hope it helps somebody 'cause
I'm proud how it turned out.
Here is why what you're doing probably isn't working and how to
get people to do things if you must.
1) What you want them to do is boring.. The human brain detests
boring things. It WANTS to see something that
looks/sounds/smells/tastes/FEELS different.
Proof that the brain craves Novelty?
Want all of them in one place? amusement park
Your chore is the anti-amusement park.
SCHOOL TAKE NOTE: If you are an anti-amusement park school, your
students aren't going to remember that stuff and hate you for
making them try to remember boring things.
(PS - the alternative to the "amusement park" analogy for
novelty?
There is none
The secret behind meditation?
The Amusement Park is inside of the deepest parts of your mind,
so deep that everything is absolutely fasctinating in a
completely relaxed way.. It is an Amusement Park Experience that
goes beyond the emotional centers of the brain and goes into the
quiet/peaceful/everything_is_ok part of the brain that's just,
well, happy - like a hug. Yes, - an amusement park in the hug
part of the brain. That's meditation )
2) Wow Is there a number 2?
Oh yeah. Why not doing chores/tasks is mostly the commander's
fault.
Same reason as #1. It's boring.. Find some way to make it
interesting. If the chore itself (or school - take note schools!
- and workplaces for that matter) - is dull, then you need to
provide a:
reminder system
Cues.
They don't have to be as fun as amusement parks. But here are
some easy ideas:
a) Reminder notes. Put them in places where they are more bored
than then they're engaging in a fun thing.
Going to the bathroom? Brushing teeth? boring Your note in the
bathroom will be more interesting than going to the bathroom,
and it will get read and possibly remembered.
Waterproof notes in the shower would be ideal, but outside of
WAX CRAYON IN THE SHOWER WALLS, there's not too many water-proof
writing options.
b) 3D cues
Leave objects that reminds the person of the task that needs to
be done.
Garbage? move the garbage into a novel spot. In front of the
bathroom/livingroom/bedroom door for example.
It's 3D. it's not boring because its in an unexpected place.
c) More elaborate systems
The possibilities are endless for reminder systems.
They act as "nags" that are not boring. Boring nags are "I told
you 100 times to do...." and yelling and screaming and having
fits. They're used to that and tune it out because... wel, it's
boring. Save the drama for your next acting class - unless you
find they are more effective. Not my personal favorite method
but that's a preference on my part. If they work, they work, but
see if quieter ways work too. It saves the both of you from
headaches, bellyaches, backaches, frustrations and irritations.
Some good systems that are more involved:
i) Systems involving baskets at doorways with notes in them.
This is BOTH 3D and written
doorways are a great place for reminders. Why? They are the end
of one place and the beginning of another. A transition point.
And transition points, for even the moment you pass through
them, are points where you unconsciously stop and think for a
moment if there is anything you forgot or if there's anything
that needs to be remembered.
iii) alternatives to paper - emails, text messages, KiK, IM, are
a few alternatives to paper notes you can do. For a REALLY
dramatic effect, try video messages.
The day you can pop up as a virtual character in the game to
say, "Billy, do your homework" will be a day parents will cheer
and kids will curse, because video games are often their only
true freedom left from authority figures for them.
So don't join their games to remind them of chores. That'll just
ruin the whole thing for them. Kid's gotta have some freedom.
iv) rewards / punishments aka - "Cause/Effect"
You don't always need "If you do-don't / then you'll get-won't
get" systems to be put into place.
But if you do, make sure the reward fits the goodness and the
punishment fits the non-compliance. Don't go overboard or
they'll lose their effectiveness really quickly due to
over-saturation.
The same way that yelling and screaming became
oversaturated/overused and then limited in their effectiveness.
Overusing something is like sandpaper
Keep doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN and the
surface becomes slick and smooth and your words just SLIDE right
through their left ear and out of the right ear. Or visa-versa.
There's no place for that type of reminder to stick to anymore.
Kenneth Udut
[email protected] 07/21/2013 Copyright 2013. If
you use this for non-profit, go ahead - I'd like credit though.
But if you use this for money, please talk to me first. I'd like
some of it too :)^