Yeah, I know of Carlos Castenda smile emoticon As a teenager, a
friend REALLY REALLY wanted me to go through his books. He had a
whole collection of them, all different colored fronts. I was
like 14/15 I think, so had to be mid 80s. The one he was reading
had something to do with fire. He was into shamanism and stuff.
His whole bedroom had all sorts of artifacts and stuff. Neat
stuff. I preferred to listen to him talk about it than reading
the books though. My exposure to similar stuff was various
prayer/meditation stuff. Church retreats, guided meditation for
anxiety when I was 11 (biofeedback lessons with this therapist
and homemade cassette tapes - they called it "QR") - that'd be
1983... ... Vipassana meditation book I got late in my teens...
and I could go on from there. All similar stuff to me. All quite
useful. I'm very introspective by nature so the stuff was smooth
for me. == Ok: one that got me was about a guy who was told by
his master to sit by the river, listen and observe until there
was no longer any listener and observer present. I don't
remember the whole story: it was well written. But I could
picture myself by the river and at some point in the story, I
disappeared. The river kept flowing, the birds kept chirping.
The wind kept blowing but i was no longer there. The seasons
passed by and I was not there. I've used that one a lot through
the years: I've made myself nobody - not hiding, not invisible
just "not there". People continue to do what they do. I respond
when talked to but I'm still not there. I'm not elsewhere
either. I mean, I'm there but not there. Helps me see what's
going on better - take in the whole picture of things at once
and just flow through like a ghost rather than being some kind
of "force". I don't want to be a force, unless i want to be.
==
