Yeah I have whole mental tools in the toolbox for getting

Yeah I have whole mental tools in the toolbox for getting
unstuck. I'm kinda lucky and cursed at the same time... as I'm
constantly stuck in "create" mode. I'm doing it now: Every word
is a creative engagement - and ties into a larger project I have
of "collecting my thoughts". I take what I write, stick it into
an online site, think about the person I'm writing to, how my
words might affect them (utilizing empathy) or might not, and
constantly search for inspiration for future projects, whatever
they may be. I suspect I lean more towards 'manic' than
depressive, but I'm always aware that it's there somewhere. ==
and also amused that on a Vine I made earlier, a 8/9 yr old kid
who is *also* named Daniel, wrote, "That's me!!! XD" to my
little clip I took of "The most interesting man in the world"
new commercial earlier today - and somehow hoped that him seeing
my clip gave him a little self-esteem boost that he can carry
with him at other times, not knowing from where... so yeah, my
gears are usually running full speed. It's a blessing and a
curse ... well, it's neither a blessing nor a curse... I just
interact well with people-on-computers as it gives me the
ability to do a lot at the same time. I'm probably ADD tongue
emoticon [1]https://vine.co/v/iHFPeTmvaha == Oh that's awesome
Daniel: I'm still on that task of connecting thoughts together.
I don't expect to ever finish, but rather keep working on
improving my capabilities at any given "present moment". I'm not
capable of everything but whatever I'm capable of and enjoy, I
like to engage it as much as possible when I can in a positive
way. It's silly in a way I suppose, but I try to imagine "What
if I was this persons's final hope and I don't even know it?" -
'cause you never know the depths of someone's internal fight and
we all get good at hiding it..... and so I try to find
'something' that can maybe reach there *just in case* it's
needed. I'll never be perfect at it, but I enjoy the challenge
of betterment and I believe fully that every person is capable
of self-actualization to whatever degree they're capable of at
any given moment, given an outlook that is compatible with them
where they can see/think/feel more clearly. But I dunno - might
be the coffee talking tongue emoticon == I'm glad you got
through the terrible couple of years and found a solution that
has been effective. Not everybody does that, but the fact that
you have, speaks volumes to me. ==
Oh! The [2]http://icopiedyou.com site is a website I created for
me to "collect my thoughts" with. I wanted a "google of my
brain" I could turn to. Instead of trying to be organized about
it, which is what I kept trying to do for YEARS AND YEARS and
failing to come up with a dependable organized system......I
instead decided to just organize things by date/time with a
universal search.That's it. It was so simple I don't know why it
took me so long to figure that out.I want to add things like
automatic keywords and stuff and tried some experiments in that
regard, but nothing has been satisfying yet.But simply to
collect them all: considering EVERYTHING I write a potential
source for future inspiration, I just collect it.I copy/paste,
title it, and then send. No idea if I'll do more with it: but at
least the data is collected _somewhere_.
====
*Oh procrastination is a wonderful tool! I'm a natural
procrastinator.One of the great things about being a
procrastinator is: You have the MAXIMUM time to consider ALL
possibilities BEFORE acting.You don't jump to conclusions.
You're not hasty. When you DO act, it's usually the right action
because you've waited long enough for your brain to consolidate,
consciously or unconsciously, as much information as it could
get before acting.I think procrastinators have the advantage: we
get more done in less time and WHILE we're procrastinating, we
accomplish EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T, the task we're supposed to do,
allowing us to get more things done overall smile emoticon
==
*I had a period of loud thoughts in my early 20s. It sucked. I
felt like I was running to get away from them. I accept them
now, and try to sort them out. All those voices are me and also
not me. I try to figure out "Ok, that one was weird: where did
*it* come from?" - and sometimes I can trace it back to
something a 3rd grade art teacher said, or some mean girls, or a
boss at a job that was unpleasant... that sort of
thing.Sometimes the thought came from a movie.So, that's been
helpful.
==
* Oh the body: yeah. I used to walk around with my shoulders up
in the air when I was tense. I didn't notice it. One day, I
did.I started saying the word, "release" to myself. I imagined a
cord being cut from the sky that was holding my shoulders up.
They let go. Then, they'd rise up again, and I'd do it again. I
started doing it ... gosh, ,20 years ago now, and I *still* have
to remind myself to let my shoulders go down naturally again
sometimes. But it helps a lot.
==
*I understand - and I'm glad you've found tools to use that have
helped you through this process. Life's process. Nobody warned
us that it would be tricky and yet, it is. I still unravel
unhealed bits as I introspectively assess myself. Some are
gaping wounds that I _know_ are there, but don't have all of the
tools to heal yet, so I just keep the wound clean and dry but
don't have the medicine yet for. I try to prevent infection from
those. There's likely others I'm not yet aware of but since I'm
not aware of them, I don't know if they're there or not. Yet
oddly, I enjoy the process. When something gets me upset, I'm
surprised at myself now. I start asking questions: "What within
me triggered that response?" I try to find the source. Whether
or not I _can_ find the source, I try to find ways to prevent
being triggered in the future. I start the assessment right
away: as soon to the event as I can. I try to avoid getting
"caught up in the emotion of the moment". I can easily get
"swept away" by my own emotional state as well as the emotional
states of others. I even avoid documentaries because they
usually present an emotional state (usually negative ones) and I
really don't like going there because I'm less functional when I
am... and I've lost some sense of self-control when I do. But I
enjoy the process. Constant learning, reassessing, practice,
production.
==

References

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