I call myself agnostic 'cause it's a close enough bucket to fit
myself in. By agnostic, I mean I don't know. It seems to be a
bizarre stance for many people that I don't make finer cuts and
refinements to its description generally but it really seems to
fit me well, just as it is. I'm a very subjective person who is
attempting to be objective about the world as much as possible.
I empathize automatically - not something I chose - so I have to
fight that frequently with barriers of appearing logical and
reasonable and trying to stay away from excessive hyperbole and
blandness alike. I've had oneness experiences that were 'heavy'
- I don't know what else to call them really and in various
places, all similar whatever the outward context I was using
was, but I tend towards walking through life like that, feeling
connected to every ridiculous thing around me. You don't want
empathy. Believe me, the sociopaths have it better. I'm
introspective, always watching myself as I go about my day.
Three sets of eyes pointing in, one set of eyes pointing
outwards, as it were. Not much choice in the matter. Just how
I'm wired I guess. But I cope as best I can. I don't like
empathy pulling me to and fro so I resist as best I can and
allow it when it's ok.
