WAY back in 1990/91, while I was taking some child psych classes
at Hampshire College, I read a book called "How to talk so kids
will listen and how to listen so kids will talk". It's a set of
easy to understand models for appropriate adult phrasings when
talking to kids. It's a series of cartoon panels. Anybody who
can read could go through it easily. I bought it. Read it cover
to cover a dozen times and internalized it. I use it in the way
that I talk to EVERYBODY. I try to be clear. Precise. Let my
assumptions be clearly known. Listen carefully. Come to a
consensus that is mutually beneficial. It's basic diplomacy and
actually, it's, to me, good conversational skills. Holding items
hostage "seems" cute and clever. I saw this and my first thought
was, "Oh how cute, the stuff is being held for ransom" and 2
seconds later I was like, WAIT.. THEIR STUFF IS BEING HELD FOR
RANSOM. Messed up. It's a passive aggressive move being used in
lieu of good communications skills. The "chore list" as ransom
payment is rather gross honestly. It's a power play. Nope. Maybe
in desperate situations I could see it in use? Maybe things are
so bad that it's necessary? But if it's at that point... there's
major communications breakdown happening and the family (or
roommates if it's in a roommate situation) needs to get an
outside opinion on the matter. I could see it viable if
EVERYBODY was allowed to hold each other's stuff for ransom.
Then it'd be fair at least. Weird, but fair.
