But yeah, it's hard finding that "deep friendship" - the one
that REALLY 'gets you'. All the stuff you heard as a kid about
true honor and courage and true friendship starts unraveling as
a teenager and it sucks because you KNOW it's true, deep down,
but finding someone else who does too is hard. Instead, it feels
like a constant battle between protecting yourself and finding
someone who 'get it'... who understands friendship. It's
probably why I made most of my friends online through the years.
In person I only found a few who "got me"... and they were
usually busy with other people. == What helps me is flipping
thing around. Same thing happen but I flip it around. Instead of
someone using me, now I'm their benefactor. Instead of people
thinking I'm a freak, they're scared of the mysterious power I
have that they can't fathom. The only way they can cope with my
inner awesomeness is to chatter and say negative thing like hens
clucking about nothing in a chicken coop. == I also hate it. I
want to go through walls. But I'm weird - not a day goes by that
a little part of me isn't thinking about what it would feel like
to suddenly go through this chair to the center. Or gravity stop
working and then I'm floating as earth zooms away somehow and
then I'm ok, "oh boy, here we go again". ==
I'm just glad the Pauli Exclusion Principle keeps working. It's
what keeps stuff not merging into each other. As I sit on this
chair, I'm glad I'm not sliding through it, the concrete floor,
the earth below, towards the center of gravity. It's probably
awkward and hot in there.
==
