I was extroverted when I was little and in some circumstances I
extroverted, but in environments with a lot of people, I would
get anxious and shut down.. Too much input at once. [probably
being 1/2 deaf, it was too much to try to make sense of all of
it] I could "feel" the social pressure but was never sure what I
was "supposed to do". When I *would* extrovert, I did it wrong.
I'd be weird. Say a stupid joke. Do something dumb. Didn't have
a thick skin. But I developed my thicker skin through the years
somewhat and I can hold my own in groups better now. For me, I
find extroverting on the Internet was the best thing. I can have
the same depth I'd get in one-on-one conversations in real life,
but with many people. More control. As long as I know what I'm
supposed to be doing or saying, or what role I'm playing, I'm
ok. It's when I don't have a role that I get lost in groups.
Just being "one of the crowd" was always hard and spotlight
"center of attention" was too much for me. But no complaints
smile emoticon I like who I am and and try to help other ppl
like themselves as well. It's a good role for me.
