Well yeah, emotions pass by like clouds. They come and go and
new ones come in. But there's a baseline in there somewhere. Not
really a mathematical average, more like, a default resting
point. When I say happy, I don't mean Mormon perfect smiles. I
mean finding your authentic resting point. Center I guess, but
that sounds a bit new agey. == well, yeah, bullshit sells books.
I guess the be happy thing to me is, "be whoever you are when
you're not even trying". Something like that. It's shit to try
to put into words - I don't have the right words to say it
right. == I actually was proud of myself with my little concise
phrasing but you raised excellent points about the "be happy"
part and I appreciate that. I mean, _I knew_ what I meant by 'be
happy' but it didn't occur to me that it might come across as
something different. [I had posted it to a couple of places but
went ahead and deleted them because the "be happy" _is_
misleading 'cause that's not really what I'm getting at. I still
have to find the right words without it sounding *too* cliche if
possible tongue emoticon ] == I miss my synth. I have it, but it
sits unplugged for years. Korg MS-2000. Old thing. Lots of fun.
Never had a proper music workstation setup anyway. Sex was
overrated for me, never did much after a while. Found it too
hysterical to take seriously. Happy 'til I piss myself just gets
my lightheaded. Good belly laugh a couple times of year is good
for me. Nitrous oxide boost and all that. Yeah, to me that's
giddiness. It has its place - and I like it sometimes. I guess
for me, I find raising the moment-to-moment baseline up was
helpful through the years. Peaks are nice, but weren't
sustainable to me, and peaks always seemed to be followed by
deep troughs which were awful. ===
