You have a hole where emotional bonds ought to be. The receptors
and transmitters are there but they're in pain because they're
sparking like cut wires that want to finish the circuit.
Unfortunately, the answer seems to always be the same: Until you
can finish the circuits, gotta put some wire nuts on some of the
sparking cut wires (inhibit) 'til you can complete the circuit.
It's hard though. The rawness is hard.