What you're looking for requires participation. As long as you
are separate from the whole in ascertaining it, you can't grasp
it.
Such is the nature of mystical experience. Some, like [1]Enoch
Kwabena Abaidoo use the word God. Others have used other words.
But as long as you are "outside looking in", you're still not
part of the one thing.
Can you see the dilemma of looking from the outside at a
one-ness? By trying to remain outside of it, by your
objectivity, you automatically negate understanding by your
approach.
Walter T Stace is the only philosopher I can think of that
approaches this successfully from a philosophical point of view.
It's a category problem.
References
Visible links
1.
https://www.facebook.com/enochkwabena.abaidoo?hc_location=ufi