All great stories are discovered on the back of a cabbage leaf
  found in a chinese takeout spring roll but shredded and
  meticulously pieced back together over a period of months.... or
  scribbled on the back sides of the wooden stair treads leading
  to the basement but only discovered upon the final inspection
  before the description of the house. Skeletal remains of the
  author were found in a basement drainage overflow pipe.