Yeah, I have a similar problem in the Universe. Whenever I walk,
  the damn Earth keeps shoving its face into my foot. I'm trying
  to travel and it keeps saying, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME! I'LL DO
  ANYTHING YOU WANT! STEP ON MY FACE! JUST DON'T LEAVE ME!!" She
  slows me down.

  THEN it hogs up ALL THE air for itself, forcing me to stay.

  Stupid air cooperates too. All I want it to do is surround me
  while I go off into a space walk, but nooooo, it stays loyal to
  Earth. I think there must've been a kickback somewhere. Time to
  get the SEC involved.

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