I vote for Asbestos. Good stuff. Shit for the lungs though. Had
  it on our pipes in the basement growing up. Silly neighbor
  across the street had men in ridiculous suits take theirs out.
  Ours? We quietly took it down ourselves and snuck it in the
  garbage, despite federal law.

  I just didn't breath in the dust *cough* clouds and we're fine
  *cough cough*.

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