Oh, it wasn't a big deal to me; I mean, it's normal to me. I sit
in a place where I can hear the speaker most clearly and not the
rest. Ears don't hear every word so my brain has to "make it up"
immediately via context and then I 'hear' it. It's short - less
than 1/2 second delay but it's always there.
And, you learn to not say "what?" all the time, because people
think you're faking it.
But I can actually "hear" the right word click in. it's weird.
Anyway, all perfectly normal to me. I go to crowds when I have
to; as long as I find my focus I'm fine.
Now if I went to this conference? I'd be on the front, left hand
side chair. Then I'd be fine. Happiness is all about applying
appropriate coping skills. It includes avoidance. Positive
self-talk, stuff like that. But often avoidance. When I *am* in
the kinds of environments that cause me to get ringing ears,
tunnel vision, and "hot" (whole body feels hot), thenI have to
escape from it. No question. no doubt. I've got to find a quiet
dark cool place. I become oregeno smile emoticon ==============
Yeah, I hate them. They last around 35-40 minutes for me. I used
to think it was 20 minutes, but then I timed a few of them.
I don't get them as much; I can USUALLY squash them at the first
feeling of my chest tightening up. Sometimes I can't. But I used
to get them ALL of the time and they'd take over.
Now, if I get a lump in my throat, or the feeling that one side
of my ribcage is trying to lift up and go over the other one, I
find mini-distractions. As a teenager, I'd do exercises; Charles
Atlas style pitting one muscle against another. Or I'd break a
sweat somehow. Or at one stressful job, I'd just sit in the
bathroom for 10 minutes, come back, go out for a cigarette
break, come back... get coffee, come back... 'til the time
passed, with bits of looking busy inbetween. ==============
That's awesome. When it comes to coping, I go with a "whatever
works", which definitely includes copious amounts of positive
self-talk.
Sometimes the answer is strange; almost an out-of-body
experience. Let's say I'm making a cup of coffee. I'll
HYPERFOCUS and try to slow down time.
I imagine myself each of the particles of non-dairy creamer,
grateful to be matched up with water molecules, filling up the
inner spaces, and the water glad to have something to bond with,
because it was getting bored with itself.
I see the cloud patterns form. Slowly swirling. And I'd slow
down experience of time. I was already hyper - brain going a
million miles a minute - but I used that as an opportunity to
stressless take a million pictures; why waste that extra
energy... and it really helped. I'd feel PRESENT yet focused.
I'd notice my chest going up and down slowly as I watched the
coffee change patterns.
All sorts of coping skills. Now I'll get them around 4am-5am
sometimes [because I stay up at night]. That's my cue to go
inside for a bit off the porch, drink some water, have a snack..
just "do things" 'til it passes. ========= I live for "woah" +
gratitude moments. I get as many of them as I get per day. If I
can empthize strongly with, say, photons for a few moments, all
my troubles can melt away. Or imagining the electrons swirling
around whatever their conduit is, passing photons to each other
(or eating one and throwing up another), all in succession...
and these things bring me peace of mind when I needed it, give
me that "woah" + "awe" feeling. and it's just.. I dunno... it
works smile emoticon
