When someone breaks your trust: A liar lies. It is what they do.
Sometimes you have to accept that side of them and ask yourself,
"In what ways *can* I trust them?"
One of the saddest things to discover is that lying is just as
common in adulthood as it is in childhood. When you're a kid,
you knew your friends lied to you. But you didn't expect the
adults to.
But they did. And they do.
It's disheartening.
But consider it this way, lest you lose faith in all humanity:
a) Can you trust this person not to physically stab you?
b) Can you trust this person not to pull your chair out when you
sit down?
c) Can you trust this person to not physically harm you?
If so, it's a start.
Do you know what areas they lie about?
Do they lie with numbers? Then you can't trust their numbers.
Do they lie about their intentions? Then you can't trust their
intentions.
Do they speak in opposites? [always saying yes when they mean
no, or using absolutes like "never" and "always"? Then you have
to pick apart their stories to figure out what they're hiding.
There's usually a kernel of truth in there, surrounding by a
pack of lies.
Sometimes it's ALL fabricated.
If that's the case, treat them like a storyteller, like watching
a movie.
Disassociate your feelings from this person as much as you can.
You can care about them not dying. You can care about them in
other ways, but you can't lay back and trust they'll catch you
if you fall.
So, you don't trust them to catch you if you fall. But you can
trust them in other ways and not trust them in others.
Just food for thought.
With people I know, I have levels of trust. "How far can I trust
them?" "What areas are they honest in and in which ares do they
regularly lie?"
Some people can't help it. It's not rational. They just can't
help it. I feel pity for them.
Some people are deliberately manipulative. For them, I treat it
as a game. I let them tell their stories and I listen. The more
you know someone who is a liar the more you can figure out
what's likely true and what's not.
You don't have to lose faith in humanity, Think of more as a
[1]#childhoodruinedmoment. Unfortunately, I've had many of
those. You can still have hope.
You can still hope for the best in people, but sometimes you
have to lower your expectation about what "BEST" means for
_them_.
Your standards might be higher than their capabilities.
References
Visible links
1.
https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/childhoodruined?hc_location=ufi
