My condolences to you, SJ- you're in a unique position now. She
was your one and now she's not. Grief manifests itself in
strange ways and even Spock was troubled in the relationship
with his parents. It appears that 12 months is the appropriate
amount of time to expect odd thoughts/feelings/actions from
yourself, as, for some reason, we humans (and you are one of the
same kind) seem to process large cognitive dissonance content
over an entire four season segment. Just when you've taken a
step forward, a seasonal reminder throws you into a strange
place.
You are unique and different, yes, but also human. I hope you
allow yourself some leeway for at least a 365 day period from
here. It is, all things considered, the most logical position to
take at this time.
