Sometimes i get on a "you're not gonna fool me again, fat!"
  campaign.

  I use paper towels and wrap the food up in as if it was a sweaty
  baby with a fever and let it sit there and soak up the oil.

  Then I throw away the paper towels and go, "hah fat you can't
  HIDE FROM ME!"

  [ok I don't really SAY that. I'm not that dramatic of a person.
  But that's what I think in my head