Iain Taylor: What does having integrity mean to you physically,
personally and socially? Kenneth Udut Physically? I like having
a close enough balance in proteins, carbs and fats. No specific
numbers, just a 'sense' that started with numbers. Oh wait -
yeah it is numbers Over 50g protein (75g-100g max), try to keep
carbs under 60g a meal or under 30g per snacks and if I have
saturated fat, I make sure I have some unsaturated fat during
the day. I try to not have excessive salt but drink extra water
when I do to "spread it out". [I dont need salt-caves in me]...
and I try to avoid white flour and sugar but they're not
demonized - I'll still eat them. Personally? That's the feeling
or emotion of integrity right? Integrity feeling comes from
staying close to my methodology of internal thought processes.
How it's produced rather than results. Brutal honesty with
myself as well as lying to myself are each acceptable to my
integrity as I've never found a way to entirely eliminate
self-lying. Sugar-coating/spin within my own mind is included in
integrity and when I harm myself by excessive brutality via
excess precision (beyond what I'm capable of), then I have lost
my integrity. Integrity also means keeping to my own pace,
following my own music as it were. Very difficult in practice as
the world pulls me to and fro at slower and faster rates than
I'd like. Social integrity? I want people to like me, so I give
them what I think they want from me, which is validation (and
that includes debating and arguing if I think they're wrong
because that treats them as equals) with contrition and
compliance with an eye to making a friend in the end. I'm
emotionally expressive in my writing yet also know I lecture and
am long and boring, but brevity is only sometimes a mark of
integrity for me. Brevity is more of a game; how to fit the most
concepts in the least amount of words and hoping the listener
unravels my package of words correctly. So there you go. I never
knew the answer to that question until now, and so now, I know
myself a little better now. That's at the core of my integrity:
knowing the world better through knowing myself better. If I'm
moving away from that as my goal, then I've moved away from
what's integral to me. I don't mean integral in a literal
mathematical sense, although come to think about it, perhaps it
*is* literal and mathematical. O_O Personal Integrity shortened:
Protect the young Kenneth Udut (pre-3rd Grade) from the
activities, thought processes and emotional activities of the
3rd Grade-and-beyond Kenneth Udut and educate him about
everything I experience. He needs protection and a *proper*
education (which only his older self can give) because 2nd grade
was horrible and I had no idea what was going on. Been taking a
lifetime to explain it all to him. December 9, 2014
