There is of course a certain amount of drudgery in
newspaper work, just as there is in teaching classes,
tunneling into a bank, or being President of the United
States. I suppose that even the most pleasurable of
imaginable occupations, that of batting baseballs through
the windows of the RCA building, would pall a little as
the days ran on. James Thurber
I suppose any job palls after a while no matter how
enjoyable. Let's take the job of, oh, say, popping bubble
wrap. Can anybody resist popping bubble wrap? What if it
were a job? How would that measure up to all day routines
and a structured company environment?
We go to our hypothetical business where employees are
instructed to deflate bubble wrap. Used, deflated bubble
wrap, it turns out in our fictitious World, is worth a
small fortune if deflated properly. Patched, it can be
reinflated to specific widths and resold to help reduce
shipping costs. This is accomplished by precisely taking
up only as much space as needed between products,
protecting the load while allowing the maximum amount of
material to be shipped in a container. The process has
been patented by the Bubble Wrap Repackaging Corporation
(BWRC) which now has four employees deflating used bubble
wrap.
It's lunch at BWRC. Myrna and Cloy are in the canteen
enjoying some company gossip. "How many times do you
think he's going to shut the machine down?" Cloy always
gives way to Myrna's expertise.
"He just thinks it goes faster that way. It doesn't
really, but he's got to do it his way and he thinks he's
the genius behind everything." Myrna was speaking of
Vince who operates the big bubble wrap press deflator
that handles entire sheets or rolls of uniform size.
"Well he's going to have to pay attention or somebody's
going to get it. If he screws up any more batches we're
going to have to do them." Cloy was non committal.
"You can bet they'll be dumping them on our table and
we'll have to work late again." Myrna's seniority was
evident. She had been working at the factory for two and
a half years.
Cloy, who worked across the table from Myrna, had
eighteen months with the company, but she still ceded to
Myrna's seniority. "I hear they hired someone new today."
"They're supposed to be coming in this afternoon." Myrna
was pleased knowing the job load would be eased by
additional help.
"BZZZ!" An annoying buzzer sounded. "Five minutes," said
Cloy.
"Yea, back to the bench." Myrna always got the last word
in. She and Cloy got up and started ambling towards their
table. The warehouse was relatively small, maybe forty by
eighty feet. Next to the roll up loading door was the
bubble wrap press Vince operated. Myrna and Cloy's table
was half way down on the opposite side of the warehouse.
During lunch an extra 'flip open' container of bubble
wrap had been placed on the end of their table. These
held five or six yards of bubble wrap depending on the
type.
"Hey! We got the big ones." Cloy's enthusiasm seemed to
affect Myrna.
"Yea, we can do them by hand." Myrna always the
instructor.
They both sat down on opposite sides of the table and
grabbed a sheet of bubble wrap. 'Pop, pop, pop, pop,'
Myrna was still the fastest in the business. The girls
would take the bubble wrap, lay it flat on the table and
press with a roll of the finger into each bubble. If
there were bubbles on both sides they would pick up one
end of the sheet and roll a bubble between thumb and
forefinger, working their way horizontally across the
sheet. After each row of bubbles they would fold the
sheet under and start on the next row except this time
they would have a layer of deflated bubble wrap between
their finger and the underside bubble.
"The first row is always the best," Cloy chimed.
"Sure," said Myrna focusing all of her attention on the
bubble wrap.
Cathump, cathump, the din of the bubble wrap press made
conversation more difficult as it deflated one sheet
after another.
"Here at BWRC we take pride in our ability to meet or
exceed customer expectations." Jim Taylor was leading a
new employee over to Myrna and Cloy's table. "Every
bubble has to be just right. One misplaced over or under
inflated bubble could mean the difference between a safe
or a damaged shipment." Jim was giving the 'take pride in
your job speech,' Myrna liked to call it. "Let me
introduce you to the best in the business." Jim and the
new employee approached the table. "Myrna, this is Beth.
Beth this is Cloy Witherspoon." Jim laid his hand out
flat, palm up, like a director of ceremonies.
"Hello. Hello." Cloy and Myrna spoke almost
simultaneously. Neither was sure if they should stop
working and went back to breaking the next row of
bubbles.
Jim handed Beth an envelope containing several booklets;
"here's your employee starter package." His timing seemed
to be a little off. Beth didn't really know what to do
with such a big envelope just now. "You'll be working
with Myrna and Cloy here. You'll see how it's done in the
Employee Introduction Booklet in your envelope there."
Beth lifted the envelope a little showing Jim she knew
what he was talking about.
"Myrna here will show you how it's done." You could see
Myrna roll her eyes a little as he said it. "That means
by tonight you'll have seventeen more yards done, right
Myrna." Myrna didn't acknowledge him directly, just a
nod. Not only was she supposed to train a new employee,
but now she had to make sure the extra work load was
done, by today. She knew it was overkill, it was
impossible, but in the spirit of company enthusiasm she
knew Jim meant 'give it your best shot'. She also knew
that by tomorrow he really did want to see the extra
seventeen yards from the new employee. She wasn't even
paid extra, to train new employees. It was all in the
spirit of 'a small company growing and we should all
pitch in for future rewards', sort of thing. Myrna's
eye's really did roll this time, adding a head twist for
emphasis.
"Here. Sit down next to Myrna." Jim took the envelope
from Beth and placed it on the table next to Myrna. "I'll
leave you in the hands of the professionals." Jim had
already turned and started walking back to the office as
he said it.
Cloy looked up from her work and smiled as Beth sat down.
Myrna, still not looking forward to the extra duty, kept
on working. "Do I just take one of these?" Beth said as
she pulled a sheet from the end of the container.
"Yea." Myrna made her first commitment to the task at
hand.
"And I guess you just start popping them." Beth popped a
bubble and looked at Myrna and Cloy's work studiously.
Myrna let Beth pop a couple of more and then instructed;
"just watch for a while. You'll see how it's done."
"You just roll them like this," Cloy said as she held the
sheet up for Beth to see. Immediately she felt she had
overstepped her bounds as she caught sight of Myrna's
glance in her direction.
"Oh, like this." Beth proved more diplomatic than either
Cloy or Myrna had first suspected.
"Yea," said Myrna. "Except you gotta do a whole row at a
time."
Beth didn't understand so she went back to watching.
Just then there was a disgruntled scream in the corner.
"Aaarg!" It was from Vince. The cathump, cathump had
stopped. Beth looked over in horror.
"Jammed again Vince?" Myrna didn't even look up from her
sheet.
"Yea! Just take a minute." Vince hopped around to the
back side of the press and started pulling off a plate.
"Where'd you work before this?" Cloy had glanced over to
the machine and now directed her attention to Beth.
"Just downtown at Spooner's Megatorium."
"Oh I've been there." Cloy showed marked enthusiasm. "We
bought a hamster wheel, me and my husband."
Beth was intent on learning the job and didn't want to
pick up the conversation about Cloy's husband and
hamster. Instead she focused her gaze on Myrna's bubble
popping.
"What did you do there?" Myrna asked.
"Displays and decorations," Beth said.
"Displays and decorations?" Myrna asked with a sincere
curiosity.
"Yea, I was head designer and decorator for the stores
and any shows they did."
Myrna was now suspicious. "And you gave up a job like
that to work for minimum wage popping bubbles?"
"Gotta work," Beth said. "Besides everybody likes to pop
bubble wrap."
Myrna rolled her eyes again. She'd probably heard that a
million times since she started working here. She'd given
up a long time ago trying to change anybodies opinion,
who said it. "How much did you make there?" She asked.
"Fifty two thousand a year. They've got stores in twenty
three cities, you know."
Myrna was shocked. She stopped her bubble popping. "Fifty
two thousand a year?" She was speechless. She couldn't
believe what she was hearing. That kind of money didn't
even make sense to Myrna. "And you quit that to do this?"
Bzzzzz! The rest of what Myrna was going to say was
interrupted by the buzzer. "Two thirty break," she said,
glad for the interruption. "We're gonna go to the
canteen. Wanna go?" She directed her comment to Beth as
she and Cloy got up from the table. Beth followed them to
the Canteen.
"How long you been workin here?" Beth asked Myrna.
"Too long. Two and a half years." Myrna was already over
by the soda pop machine putting in quarters.
"How do you like it?"
"It's OK." Myrna leaned back in the chair, opened her
pop, took a sip and then let her head lean back as she
closed her eyes.
Beth now turned her attention to Cloy. "How long have you
been here Cloy?"
"Almost two years. Well actually a year and a half. I'm
working on two years."
"Are you able to do seventeen yards everyday?" Beth plied
Cloy.
With her head still back Myrna opened her eyes and gave
Beth a side ways glance.
"Just about everyday. Sometimes we do more." Cloy's
enthusiasm was remarkable.
"Do you ever not make seventeen?" Beth asked
"Sometimes. Only when it's the small bubbles, two sided,
all day." Cloy's enthusiasm seemed to disappear. "We get
a write up and then Jim asks why?"
Just then the buzzer sounded again. Cloy, Myrna and Beth
went back out to the warehouse. Vince and Jim were over
by the press discussing something about the condition of
a part and how it would work better if it were replaced.
Vince put the plate back on he had removed earlier,
before their break, and started the press again. Cathump,
cathump, it seemed to be working. Jim headed back to the
office.
Myrna sat down first. "Let me show you how it's done."
Beth listened attentively. "These are the easy ones. The
bubbles are big. First you roll 'em between your
fingers." She showed Beth how to pop a bubble. "Then you
do the whole row that way. You have to pop them in this
direction." She showed Beth a thumb over the forefinger
motion, lifting the wrap a little, and exaggerating the
motion. If we break them this way then they can be
patched at the factory.
"Factory?" Beth asked.
"That's where they reseal the bubbles," Myrna informed
her. "You see, we just prep 'em here.
"Prep?" Beth showed genuine interest.
"Yea that's what you're doing now. Then we put them in a
box, the big boxes at the end over there, and they take
them to the factory." Myrna pointed towards the opposite
end of the warehouse at a stack of boxes.
"Have you ever been to the factory?" asked Beth.
"Once," said Myrna. "We had a meeting and a dinner for
all the employees and they held it at the factory."
"Here, you try it." Myrna got up and reached around to
the other side of Beth and pulled the sheet of bubble
wrap she'd been working on into position. "You started
this one, but it looks like you popped one in the wrong
direction, but I don't think it will matter. Here, finish
the first row and then fold it over."
Myrna watched as Beth started on the first row of
bubbles. As she started the second row she didn't fold
the sheet over. "Wait a sec. You gotta fold it over so
you can get set up to do the whole sheet." She reached
over and folded one side. "Now fold the other side like
this. And then you grab the fold and top bubble between
your thumb and finger like this." Myrna demonstrated.
Beth followed on the opposite end. "That's it."
Myrna returned to her side and watched as Beth completed
the row. "That's it, except you might want to start on
the other side and work towards you. Doesn't really
matter though."
"Like this?" Beth started her second row taking Myrna's
advise.
"Yea, that's it. Just keep going through the whole sheet,
and when you're done slide it across the table and pull
another one out."
"There's only supposed to be two people to a table," Cloy
reminded Myrna.
"Yea, she's right. Tomorrow you'll probably be working at
your own table, or me or Cloy will move to another table,
because it's easier when you just slide the finished ones
down to the end."
Suddenly there's a hub bub from the front of the
warehouse by the office. Several Japanese businessmen
file out, into the warehouse, followed by Jim and Sven
Orstead, the President and CEO of BWRC.
"This is the preparation area," the girls hear Jim
saying. "Staging, shipping and prep is performed at this
facility. We can process over 220 yards a day in this
warehouse alone, and that's just the beginning."
One of the Japanese businessmen turns to one of the
members in their entourage and speaks in his quick
foreign dialect none of the employees understand. "What's
the cost per square foot?" The gentleman he was talking
to turns out to be a translator.
"Our lease is 88 cents per foot," Jim answers. With all
overhead and equipment it comes to less than $2.00,
$1.94, I believe. I've got it in your file at the
office."
The translator relays the information back to the
businessmen. The one that asked the question smiles at
Jim, a couple of others shake their head while making a
couple of quick comments between themselves.
"I think you'll like our machine over here." Jim lays his
hand out to lead the way. "We've got all the rights. Just
received the patent last year."
The translator talks quickly. He does an up and down
motion with his hand, like sketching out some mountain
tops in the air. One of the businessmen giggles while two
others step closer to the machine and examine it closely.
Jim gives the 'cut it' signal to Vince with a twist of
his wrist.
Vince walks over to the businessmen and says "I think we
can get more speed if we put in snaps to pull the
sheets." All the businessmen and the translator look at
him without saying a word. Suddenly Jim breaks the ice
with "I think what he's saying is that we're constantly
making improvements." The translator translates and all
the Japanese businessmen smile and nod their heads up and
down several times as if understanding.
"If we expand to your country we can either advance the
foreign rights or provide the equipment." Jim sounded a
little nervous.
"That's right gentlemen. The rights to this machine are
for sale along with the franchise opportunity, if you're
interested." Sven's comment raised the subject of money a
little to prematurely. He stepped back and tripped as he
caught his foot on the corner of a table. He regained his
balance before falling completely. "What do you think
Jim," he said trying to act as if nothing had happened.
"The press may not be necessary for overseas operation,
Sven." Jim tried to talk quickly before the translator
could finish what Sven had said. "Manpower requirements
are minimal and one person can do seventeen point four
yards a day, with a few tools."
"Can they do eighteen?" The translator was speaking for
what looked like the most senior of the Japanese
businessmen.
There was a quick comment from another of the businessmen
to a third, "Twenty?" The translator went on as he spoke
for them, possibly out of turn.
The party worked its way over to where the women were
working. They gathered behind Cloy and then gradually
peaked out from behind one another until they were all
spread evenly around the table watching them work.
"This is our custom table," Sven said as he unconsciously
picked up a sheet of bubble wrap and started popping the
bubbles. "Any oddball sizes that need prepping are run
through these gals."
Cloy looked up and smiled at the businessmen. Myrna
intensified her effort popping the bubbles. Beth still
wasn't really quite sure what to do so she just looked at
the businessmen, smiled also, and held her hands in her
lap.
"This is our new gal," Sven went on. He also noticed at
the same time the translator wasn't translating what he
was saying so he rolled one of his hands towards him to
try and indicate that he should be translating, all the
while still popping bubbles with his other hand. "Well go
on. Tell them," he said.
The translator turned and said a couple of quick words to
the closest gentleman who smiled mischievously and then
looked up and down at Sven.
Jim stepped in to relieve his boss; "we have several
orders for electronic companies here," he said trying to
change the focus of the conversation.
One of the businessmen turned to another and said a quick
word and then picked up a piece of bubble wrap. "Ah
Eeeee!" he seemed to say as he started popping the first
bubbles. He turned to one of his companions with a
gesture of 'you try it' and handed him an edge of his
bubble wrap. They both started popping bubbles faster and
faster and then all of a sudden they looked over at Myrna
and started trying to match her pace. Almost at the same
time the other businessmen picked up a piece of bubble
wrap and they all started popping the bubbles. One held
it up. Another turned as he popped bubbles. All were
chattering joyously commenting to one another as if this
were a real thrill.
Jim had to raise his voice a little to get through the
chatter; "if you gentlemen want to retire to the office I
can give you the stats you requested."
Jim had to tap the translator on the shoulder to get him
to listen. He leaned over so he could hear: "If you would
like to come into the office with me I can give you the
information we've got ready."
This time the translator translated it. Two of the
businessmen ignored him and kept turning as they popped
the bubble wrap. One tried to put a piece under his coat.
Still a fourth stepped back from the rest while still
popping the bubbles.
"This way gentlemen." Jim took the elbow of one of the
businessmen and started to guide him towards the office.
The businessmen kept popping as he went with Jim's lead.
The others followed. As they neared the office one of the
businessmen looked down at his last couple of bubbles on
his bubble wrap and dashed over to the table, smiled at
Cloy and took another sheet, only to start popping the
bubbles on this one as he walked towards the office.
As the last of the entourage filed into the office Cloy,
Myrna, Beth and even Vince all looked at one another like
they couldn't believe what they just saw. "I wonder if
they're still going to make us do our seventeen yards?"
Cloy said, breaking the silence.
Epilogue: Beth only worked three more days before she
quit. BWRC went out of business two months later. It
turned out Beth was a spy for a styrofoam pressing
company; a competitor that wanted to steal the bubble
wrap press technology and preparation techniques. United
Styrofoam Reprocessing now controls over 90% of the
Bubble Wrap Repackaging Business. Also as a side note
there is now a company in Japan that orders three
container loads a month of used bubble wrap. They claim
it's a meditative tool for their employees.
The End copyright 1999 Ken Bushnell
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