Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday.
The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell
us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and
what you watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job
title, people will have you all figured out .....
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MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to
avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are
now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls
you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with
"customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek
admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are
instead content to completely control everything that happens at your
workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who
the heck can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is
said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You
can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the
latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing
your "carpal tunnel"...
ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune
from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
concerning you say that you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you
tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other
person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls
today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/ DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/ "TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat, yet
completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the
rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your
worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to
marry other "Middle Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle
Manager".
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are
destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable
to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior
Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager".
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from
taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a
little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play
"Customer Service". Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is
to sleep with your manager.
