A Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question:

Customer:     What is the command that will tell me the revision
             code of a program ?
UNIX consul:  Yes, that's correct.
Customer:     No, what is it ?
UNIX consul:  Yes.
Customer:     So, which is the one ?
UNIX consul:  No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer:     Stop this. Who are you ?
UNIX consul:  Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also
             'finger yoo' to get information about yoo.
Customer:     All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX consul:  Use 'what'.
Customer:     That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?
UNIX consul:  No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer:     Which one?
UNIX consul:  'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Customer:     Let's get back to my problem. What program?
             How do I find it?
UNIX consul:  Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'.
             Type 'what program' to get the revision code.
Customer:     I want to find the revision code.
UNIX consul:  You can't 'find revisioncode', you must
             use 'what program'.
Customer:     Which command will do what I need?
UNIX consul:  No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Customer:     I think I understand. Let me write that.
UNIX consul:  You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a
             user on your system.
Customer:     Write what?
UNIX consul:  No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Customer:     Cut that out!
UNIX consul:  Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.
             Don't forget the options.
Customer:     Do you always do this?
UNIX consul:  'du' will give you disk usage.
Customer:     HELP!
UNIX consul:  'help' is only used for Source Code Control System.
Customer:     You make me angry.
UNIX consul:  No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname'
             when I was upset once.
Customer:     I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX consul:  No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every
             system has 'more'.
Customer:     Nice help! I'm confused more now!
UNIX consul:  Understand that since 'help' is such a small program,
             it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not
             allowed but 'at now' is.  Unless of course 'now' is
             a file name.
Customer:     This is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX consul:  I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you
             to the Pascal compiler team...

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