I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and
others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy
of it.
I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual
(she/he/it who must be obeyed). It follows below:
The Homosexual Agenda
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch
2:00 PM 1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and Local
Governments as well as all other national governments, 2) recruit all
straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle, 3) destroy all healthy
heterosexual marriages, 4) replace all school counselors in grades K-12
with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, 5) establish planetary
chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over medicated imprisoned straight
women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce
prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership, 6)
bulldoze all houses of worship, and 7) secure total control of the
INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from
stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
