What if people bought cars like they buy computers?
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!
HELPLINE: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?
CUSTOMER: What's an ignition?
HELPLINE: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and
turns over the engine.
CUSTOMER: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all
these technical terms just to use my car?
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!
HELPLINE: Is the gas tank empty?
CUSTOMER: Huh? How do I know!?
HELPLINE: There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and
markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?
CUSTOMER: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?
HELPLINE: It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase
some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the
vendor to install it for you.
CUSTOMER: WHAT!? I paid $20,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have
to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with
everything built in!
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: Your cars suck!!!
HELPLINE: What's wrong?
CUSTOMER: It crashed, that's what went wrong!
HELPLINE: What were you doing?
CUSTOMER: I wanted it to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all
the way to the floor. It worked for awhile, and then it crashed
and now it won't start!
HELPLINE: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you
expect us to do about it?
CUSTOMER: I want you to send me one of the latest versions you have, one
that won't crash anymore.
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it
has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering,
power brakes,and power door locks.
HELPLINE: Thanks for buying our car. Now, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: How do I work it?
HELPLINE: Do you know how to drive
CUSTOMER: Do I know how to what?
HELPLINE: Do you know how to drive?
CUSTOMER: I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!
