30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
(Abridged from 50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator


1. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents ofyour kleenex
   to other passengers.

2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
   "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
4. Crack openyour briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
   ask: "Got enough air in there?"
5. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.  Wear
   yours upside-down.
6. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
   without getting off.
7. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
    doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
8.  <Too gross and disgusting to repeat here.>

9. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
    and ask them to call you Admiral.
10. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
    stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the
   shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
11. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
    announce: "I've got new socks on!"
12. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
    "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
13.Meow occasionally.
14. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
15. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
16. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
17. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
18. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
19. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
    of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
20. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
21. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
22. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
    beeper?"
23. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
24. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
25. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
    other passengers that this is your "personal space."
27. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
    wha in muh mouf?"
28. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

29. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
30. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

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