Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down
the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have
come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
a whole box to start a campfire?
Terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around
on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now,
compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video
and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge
of immigration.
