JOHN KERRY
I voted to support the chicken crossing the road before I voted against
the chicken. I do not believe the chicken should have crossed the road
without the support of the French, Germans, and United Nations. Did I
mention I have three Purple Hearts?
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't need to know why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either for us or against us . There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to
cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
AL GORE
I invented the chicken!
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken did cross the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
