I miss having Tomo around because Tomo didn't eat at my social energy
like a buzzard eating a carcass off the side of the road. Yesterday we
had SAEC and I had to step in as president because Rob couldn't be
there. I tried making it very clear that I was socially exhausted.
But instead of people sitting their asses down and listening to the
president like when Rob is there, everyone was three feet away from me
and yelling like a bunch of idiots. I was consistently being touched and
hugged and all kind of shit, which while nice sometimes, is absolutely
horrid when you have no social energy left and just want to be left
alone.
And then today, when I go to have Computer Club, I had to go to the Caf
beforehand to eat with my friend Tatum since I already told her I would
earlier this week. And then she comes with me to Computer Club
(something I wish she wouldn't do because she's not a part of the club
and just makes starting the thing take longer). She finally leaves, and
people show up - except for Bars because he never fucking shows up
unless we get on his ass about it (which we did and he showed up 10
minutes before the meeting was supposed to end, not even remember what
room to go to). And then Rob messes with my files and pisses me off. I
tried to end the meeting, but people kept messing around, so I gave up
and silently left. I can normally handle it, and think it's fun and
whatever, but I am fucking drained. I have spent days upon days upon
days with people - not aided by the fact that I have to go to class and
have to speak in most of my classes - and I'm just done. I want to be
left alone to recharge. But, nope, already made plans for people to come
over tomorrow. So *great*. Pardon all my language. Curses, English,
stupidity, complaining - all of it.
But, no, yeah. When you're introverted friend looks uncomfortable, stop.
When your introverted friend wants to go back to his room, let him. When
you're introverted friend shows that he is clearly pissed off, try *not*
to do the thing that pisses him off. And OH YEAH, if your friend who is
LOGGED IN tells you not to clear out his FUCKING recycle bin, don't!
fucking! do! it!
I hate this body. I hate dealing with people. I hate feeling the ways
that I feel and I hate having to deal with those feelings. I am sick and
tired of being a damn human being with a falling apart body and a
deprecating mind. Let me be a superhuman and reform this stupid body and
regain what energy I once had.
And oh yeah, Tomo you asshole, text me the fuck back. It's been a good
two weeks and a day.
