//Sits with a cup of tea at 2am, listening to my Jim Croce record
Man, it really sucks to be alone. Sometimes it's nice, y'know. I have a
whole room to myself to do whatever I want and to arrange it however I
want. But there are other times that I really wish I had someone here
who I could just go over and hug when I feel lonely, sad, or tired, like
I could with Tomo. I'm a needy, sensitive guy, for better or for worse,
and I really treasure the people that can deal with me (and am surprised
when they can).
It's been about another week since I last heard from Tomo. I sent him an
apology for being angry at him for not messaging me back. I mean, I know
that a decent amount of my anger was justified, considering he was
blatantly ignoring me, but I know that he's probably going through a lot
too, and I hate to contribute to someone's stress. I really just wish he
was here. Obviously he would still be just as disinterested in my liking
him as ever, but it would be really nice just to have my friend here.
It's not all bad. I've been hanging out with other friends, and it's
been nice. It's just times like this - two in the morning on a Tuesday -
that I realize that I really do miss him. I mean, hell, I could find
another guy to crush on, but I can't just find another Tomo. He was my
friend, my scapegoat, and my person to spend my time with whenever. Now
I don't have that. When I play video games, I play them alone. When I
watch movies, I watch them alone - not even bothering to pop popcorn.
It's a lonely time. And I wonder if my whole life is going to be like
this, where the people whom I get closest to simply move on and leave me
behind. It seems to be the cycle that I've gone through so far. Although
I guess that's also partially my own fault.
Computer Club is supposed to meet tonight, and today around 12 I have to
meet with SBA to ask for funds for a Raspberry Pi 3. Hopefully this goes
over well and we're able to get one without issue.
Let me go flip the record over...
*flips*
I don't feel sleepy. I think I slept for around four hours? but I'm not
sure. I just know that I should *probably* try and sleep a couple more
hours before I have class at 9, and Computer Club at 6:15. We'll see.
