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Arkwood Pond's Favorite Detective in...
The Wild and Wacky Water Caper
Episode 2: What About Me?
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"I get that you all have a thing that you're absolutely have to do right now,
but what am I supposed to do?"
Right. Richard. That's why Cynthia stayed in the office overnight.
"Okay, I'm not exactly an expert at these situations, and Cynthia has her
reasons for not talking much about it, but I'd imagine that you're probably
fine to just stay in the building and try and avoid windows. Might be best to
avoid the first floor. Best yet, maybe just hang out in the office. I'll try
and make sure that someone gets you some lunch, and if you'd like, I'll have
them give you some magazines as well to help keep away the boredom." It's not
the best thing ever, but I didn't know what else I could offer.
"Thank you." Richard nodded in appreciation. "I knolot for you guys to handle,
doing your jobs and trying to keep me safe and all, but I really appreciate
everything you're trying to do. Man, I really wish things could just be normal,
but what's normal when most of your town disappears for a day, and then you
find out that your wife actually works for the police? Actually, come to think
of it, what's normal about a mustard factory? Really, just a factory dedicated
to making mustard? What a silly cover-up. That can't be real."
"Hey, I'll have you know that actually *was* a real job, or at least it was at
first anyway. And yes, there really is an entire factory dedicated to the
creation of the best mustard in existance. We take great pride in the mustard
that we make, thank you very much. In fact, I'll have you know that our mustard
has won an award every year, that's just how good we are." Cynthia seemed just
a little bit upset about the whole ordeal.
"Our mustard? You still say our mustard? You haven't worked there since 2009
and you still claim their mustard as yours? Man, you must have really been
attached to that place. Also, you, um... rather, that place has only received
an award every year because it gives itself an award every year," Richard
retorted.
Cynthia was really upset now.
"Okay, firstly, I haven't worked there since 2010, not 2009. The conference
dates are off by one year for some crazy reason, you know how time works here.
Secondly, FrillerWorks gave itself an award this year too, so now what do you
have to say about that?"
Oh man, I *really* hate to get into the middle of a married couple's argument,
but... well...
"Look guys, I'm sure this argu... uh... peaceful conversation is really
important, but one person's died already, and we really need to make sure that
even more people don't die, so let's put this... lovely chat on hold for now
and go out and try and figure out what's going on."
"Hey," Cynthia smirked, "Aren't I supposed to be the one that keeps *you* from
getting too far off track?"
I smiled. "Yeah, I think that's the way it generally works out."
After Cynthia and I had left the office and closed the door, I had one thing
that I shouldn't have let slip out. "Didn't FrillerWorks give itself an award
as a satirical statement attempting to make fun of someone else who had just
previously given themself an award?"
"SHUT UP. OKAY?"
Whoops.
"Also, Richard doesn't really like to read much, so he wouldn't have noticed
that anyway. How else do you think I've been able to hide who I am from him
when it's already been published in the town's newspaper? Even then, he's not
one much for news, so he wouldn't have figured out that it was making fun of
Obama anyway."
Oh. Richard doesn't like to read. Ix-nay on the agazines-may then.
"May I at least say one useful thing?" I asked, somewhat shyly.
"Okay. ONE."
"Let's go get some lunch. We can cool down a little bit and use the time to
plan out exactly what it is we're going to do anyway."
Hey! This chapter doesn't end in such a cliffhanger like attitude. It's about
time, except now I feel a little empty. I almost kind of like complaining about
cliffhangers. What's wrong with me?
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FrillerWorks -- Using slip knots to tie up loose ends.
