The sun is shinning,
proudly back after
the darkest night.
I slept for 12 hours!
Yesterday I wanted to
do something special,
without having much
energy to do anything.
I bought some magic
mushroom, just in case.
I went to a Sound Journey,
a meditative space, where
gongs, flute, electronic
music is played. I then
came back home, cook
a meal, took a bath.
What did I want to do?
The only thing I didn't
want to do was to sit
in front on the computer
and watch stuff. When I
think about the mind
pollution that the tv
is creating in my mind
I find it sickening.
All these bits of tv
shows that I have stored
in my mind, this vomit of
emotional memory linked
to series and movies,
it really feels like
pollution of my mind.
If I could let go of
all that, I'd be happy.
Nothing I can do about
the past, but if there
is one thing I'd like
to let go of, is watching
stuff all the time. I
decided to just do that.
Don't site in front of
the tv. Just do anyting
else.
I layed in the hammock,
and then though I could
watch some tattoo... NO!
Don't! Wow, I'm really addicted
and I'm in withdrawal!
It's weird. No cold sweats,
but still a sense of confusion.
Ok lets start drawing. That
feels good. I have a couple
of tattoo design that I
need to work on. What about
I plug-in the speaker?
Put the synth through the
effect pedal, create a
nice ambiance. Lets
have a bit of Happe,
connect with a friend
who wants a tattoo.
Send idea back and forth,
from the drafting, to
the test on fake skin.
I stand up and look at my
drafting table, the synth
rolling through an arpeggio
with random note, 30bpm, with
moving filters and noise, fed
into a reverb and delay pedal,
with my fountain pen ink,
and the spillage of the tattoo
practice, notebook open
on my sketches... This
feels like who I am...
This is nice, oh, I'm
doing calligraphy as a
tattoo, maybe I could
watch a video... NO!
It's weird, it's coming
back to me so often.
The addiction is profound.
By the end of the evening,
something was missing. Can
I really go to bed without
watching a show? This tv
watching has become embedded
in my night ritual, and I find
it so trashy. I don't want
that.
I assume social media is
in the same vein as far as
addiction goes. This media
consumption is replacing
all that 'downtime' that
could be used for creative
or ritualistic process.
I mean even reading before
bed. Now I don't think it's
a bad thing, but it's still
consuming media instead of
being in the present. I think
reading book is really healthy
though, from a cognitive and
imaginary perspective. It's
still going away from a ritual
that could be done before bed.
For this new cycle, as I find
the solstice to be more like
the new year, than new year itself,
I want to create the space for
rituals and creativity. I want
to create this sacred life,
filled with all my powers, and
reducing the ingestion of
random media and information.
