I am again in this space of void.
It has similarity with depression
but it's enjoyable. In a
depressive state I can't do anything.
I am stuck and blocked, like in a
nightmare, when I try to run away
but I'm stuck.
This void place is empty. I can
sit and watch the clouds and I
am fully satisfied. I don't need
anything really. I am also not
excited about much. But I can
still do my work, I'm actually
more efficient as there is no
tension or desires for anything
else. It's a bit dry though.
There is nothing to like about
that void, because it's void.
I can only compare it to when
there is not a void. I miss the
lust, the fear, the suffering
from before the void. Outside
the void, there is a direction
and desires that makes me move
and create. I like that. But
with these, attachement and
suffering are also part of the
equation.
The last time I reached Samadhi,
it was a strange feeling. When
people talks about enlightment,
most people envision that state
as a state of joy and happiness.
But bliss is not that. The state
of samadhi, which is a prelude to
enlightement, is a state in
between sadness and happiness.
It's a middle path. It's calm
it's peaceful, but it's also
denude of human intensity.
Trough the void, I become very
powerful. Everything comes to
me. But this in turn trigger
lust and desires, which gets me
out of the void. If I am fully
detached why would I then have
so much powers? If I use my
power for others, then I don't
get attached as much. There is
still an ego trigger, 'wow look
at what I can do' but there is
less attachment to the outcome.
1. This is a 3 5 3 form of poetry.
I read there are poets who prefer
a more succint 'haiku' style in
the form of 5 3 5, but the 3 5 3
seems to flow better for me. I've
always questioned the English
Haiku, following Japanese counting
since the language and composition
are different, shouldn't the
structure also be different?
