One day before I leave on
my short road trip, meeting
her for the second time.
I am in high spirit, it's
a good morning. I can almost
see the sky. I make some
tea and decide to take a
microdose. I almost take 2
microdose but remember that
the friend who gave me these
told me they were quite strong.
I start my day, I had a bit of
work to do, and shortly I relized
that the micro dose were a
bit too strong. I did what I
could on the computer, then
turned on my phone.
Call dad, he just got out
of the hostpital, my sister
texted me. I call my dad,
a blood cloth to the brain.
It was a small one, it went
through, he's okay though.
We talk about life, death
and healing. He find all
these reason why he got
this, too much food, too
much work, too much desert.
I told him that when we
almost die we try to find
the why it happens, we try
to find the bad thing we
did that almost killed us.
We never know really, and
life is like that, one day
you die. I almost died
a few time in this lifetime,
not because I'm a bad person,
just because I'm alive.
I then called my sister,
talked for a moment, she
was test driving a car, she'd
call me in a bit.
Then my ex called, for
christmas time. What to
do during that time. It
hit her, how sad christmass
will be like that. It made
me cry for a bit. Yeah,
this is the life of a separated
family. That's what she wanted.
Then my best friend Nicolas
called, we hadn't talked
in a while, so I happily
moved form my ex phone call
to him. I told him all about
my life, my separation, with
more wisdom now that it's
been a few month. He shared
his experience of being
a dad with a kid on the
spectrum, and shared about
the assisted sucide he
went trough with his dad.
It sounded like a nice
departure, with the whole
family around him. It's
beautiful that we can now
decide when we want to go.
I then called back my sister.
We talked about our father
who just got out of the hospital,
but went on quickly about car
and my plan for the next day.
She googled her, gave her
approbation, she sent a few
photo of her sons...
Then it was already the evening,
I spent over 6 hours on the
phone, so I prepared to play
some synth on aNONradio openmic,
I tried for a few minutes, it
was really bad, I did not have
much energy anymore. I simply
crashed and watched Ranma 1 1/2,
the new version, had a laught
and went to bed, I had to be
well rested for my Sunday.
