It all started with a simple qestion on
the mailling list of uncivilisation.

Someone wondered why the list was so
quiet lately. At that made me start to
compose, mentally at first,  an answer.
I'm new to the mail list and I've been
mostly lurking around with some 'aha!'
moments that I shared with the group.

I started to think about why I am
not sharing much on this list.

The more I research and read about collapse,
decolonization or tranformation of our
culture into a new culture the less I know
what to do.

You can't really blame politics as they are
powerless in the face of such change.
So it's easy to go up the ladder and
blame the corporations that are exploiting
the systems in place.Soon I realized
that even corporation as stuck in this
comsumerist capitalistic system that is
completely disfunctional and abusive by
nature. It's natural to put the blame on
that system and call it a day.

That doesn't feel real, something
is missing. I realize that it's a lot
bigger than politics or economic system.
Is it our language itself? What is the seed
of the problem?

I'm reading "An introduction to Zen" by
D.T. Suzuki. I'm familiar with Zen practices,
I've mostly enjoy its pragmatic approach to
meditation. Suzuki threw a wrench (quite
enjoyable though) into that understanding of Zen.

In the third chapter he talks about logic
and how it's the enemy of Zen. I fully agree
with that, as logic is quite counter intuitive
in spiritual development.

You have to see logic for what it is  and
let it play in it's own walled playground
while you free yourself and discover a different
reality that is not bound by your logical mind.

This is when it got me. The collapse we are
living, is not a collapse of capitalism, or
patriarchy, or colonialism, it the collapse of
the many hundred years of logical thinking.

We have built a house of card, trying
to escape our own nature for so long now. We built
logic to give sense to something that doesn't make
sense to start with.

What is the solution then? There are no solutions.
The collapse is, and has to happen in order to
shatter this logical mind and set us free, or
kill us all. There are no last minute new way
of doing things, we're at the end of the rope
of our logic, and it has to implode.

That is why I don't find much to share on that
mailling list. We can talk, make sense or not
of what is happening, but there is no logical
way to get out of it. We can debate and argue
who is more right or who is more wrong, but we're
all contributing into this escapism of our true
nature trough logic and resoning.

Science has always been clear about its goal,
it's a method that tries to analyse the reality
we are living in. Using logic and reproductibility.
Science is the first one to declare that it can't
explain everything, and there might never be a time
where science will be able to calculate our
whole reality.

We're caught in our own web of logic, and as anyone
is reading this, the logic mind will try to counter
this idea. It doesn't make sense, there is always a
solution to every problem... until there are no
more solutions, and logic doesn't work anymore.

Fighting the collapse with the intelect is only
putting more oil on the fire. There are no logical
way out, and planing and creating system out of
this is only another form of escapism.

What does it mean to give up logic and language?

I don't know, and I don't think there are word
for this. Logic is only half what humans are and
blindlessly following logic has led us here.

We can't give up logic as it doesn't 'make sense.'
And this is where lies the problem, this infinite
loop of 'logic.'

Since we lived all our life in this 'logical' reality
there is no way to see another way of being. We can't
see what we don't know, or at least that is what 'logic'
implies.

Which brings back this point of a solution. There
has to be a solution, as logically there is always
a solution to a problem. But logic itself, which creates
the problem and the solution IS the problem. So
what can you do when what creates the problem is
the problem. And now you're stuck again in a recursive
loop.

A huge part of 'liberation' trough meditation is to
find these recursive loops in my mind. We all have them
and they block us from relaxing or letting go.
"I cannot not think about this problem, as it
needs to be resolved" While the thinking is really
the issue here.

I was reading a William S Borough interview and
he touched a few times on these 'word locks.' These
concept that screw society in a certain way of thinking
for many years. War on drugs was one of them. It
made me realized that these recusive mind loops are
also cultural and block us from 'evolving' or
'liberating' our mind.

And with this 'collapse' (sorry for the over usage
of quotations, it feels like nothing make sense anymore)
I feel we're stuck in a massive recursive loop
that touches the core of human logic that has been
developped for a couple thousands years.

It feels like as soon as we started to 'make sense'
a seed of that collapse was sown. Now it's too big
to come out of the tree, we simply have to let that
tree die to create some nutrient for something else
to grow instead.

To hope for the collapse not to happen, re-inforce
this logical mind set. To hope the collapse will happen
is also a logical loop that binds us.

I guess it's sad and it's good to feel something about it.
The only thing I see worthwhile is to imagine, or dream
what life is without being governed by logic.

It's a nice exercise to cultivate community,
emotional intelligence (not in the logical way thoug),
creativity and intuition.

And as illogical it feels like, learning to meditate
at every moment of the day seems to be the only way out.

Again...

There are no solutions, because a solution would
validate logic, as long as there is a solution
there is no change, because there is no collapse.
Wanting a solution to the collapse is only extending
this dominating way of thinking.

While re-reading and editing this reflection,
I realized that it makes no sense.
Although I am trying to make sense of it!
It's probably useless even to share!
Don't take offence by it, it doesn't really
mean anything logical.