The jeep is in bad shape. It doesn't
feel like it's the battery or the
alternator. The starter is fine...
I registered just now to BCAA to get
my free towing, but all the garage shop
are closed in the region. I need to wait
until tomorrow to get it towed.
What a weird reality. I guess I am
done with the Jeep too, a new era.
I was hoping it would last for a few
more months. We'll see.
In the process of qualifying everyone
at the Ashram, I also look at women
and rate their attractiveness. I guess
we all do that, and I used to feel really
shameful about it. Now I see it happen
but I don't really care. I know too
much that look only won't lead to a
good relationship. One women catch
my attention though, and I try to
be not too obvious about looking at
her. But she reminds me of something.
She finally comes to me today and
ask if I was at the Raise festival
a couple weeks ago, and then it
clicked. We had a quick chat about
the yoga nidra journey I was leading
there.
I meet other people, some of them,
I've tutored them when they were younger.
Another woman I met, is from the slocan
valley, I actually almost lived in her
place when she was in Peru. A very
funny encouter. I'm used to know most
people at the Ashram, but now it seems
like I have some karmic link with
everyone.
They all say 'Oh, your jeep broke at
the Ashram, you should probably stay
here for ever then!'
Life has been quite challenging
in an hard to understand way. Like
a weird pattern, things seems like
bad news, but then it ends up being
okay, or even better than ok. There
is some sort of a purge, and I have
to just keep doing the work BUT
keep positive through it. Some sort
of acceleration, and I just want to
take a break, but it feels like it
will continue to be like that.
I fantasize about have a quiet winter
in my cabin on the lake, making music,
writing, cooking. A big pot on the
wood stove with broth boiling everyday.
They all say 'Oh, your jeep broke at
the Ashram, you should probably stay
here for ever then!'
Life has been quite challenging
in an hard to understand way. Like
a weird pattern, things seems like
bad news, but then it ends up being
okay, or even better than ok. There
is some sort of a purge, and I have
to just keep doing the work BUT
keep positive through it. Some sort
of acceleration, and I just want to
take a break, but it feels like it
will continue to be like that.
I fantasize about have a quiet winter
in my cabin on the lake, making music,
writing, cooking. A big pot on the
wood stove with broth boiling everyday.
-<>-
Walking in the woods felt great today.
A good grounding, I took a nap in the
middle of the trees. The scenery has
change a lot in 12 years. I was trying
to find the spot my ex and I would
go an hide.
I worked in the garden in the afternoon,
harvesting grapes with three other women.
I got quite chatty, I am not sure how that
went. I have a friend who is always over
excited to talk to people. I felt like
that a bit. I know how annoying it is,
but it was also quite healing. At 3pm
they all told me we were done, they
would finish the rest, I could leave.
When I realized it was 30 minutes before
the end of the 'work' it made me wonder.
I should really be more mindful,
and shut up a bit more.
