In our meditation circle, we were exploring emotions.
Breathing and feeling differents emotions as an exploration.
It felt weird, different and somehow taboo.
Emotions aren't acceptable or valued anymore.
I write and censor myself. I curtail my humaness.
I am afraid of talking about sexuality, addiction,
passion and delusion. It might make my writing
less 'respected'.
If I am a disfunctional human, how can my writings
be inspiring and useful.
Even in the depth of gopher, I wonder how real I can be.
This human side of myself is scary, mushy, unclear,
too human to be useful.
I want to step out of that disfunctional way to express
myself and into a more direct sharing of my human experience.
