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Title: Why I've been silent
Date: March 12, 2025
Listening to: Cyril the Wolf - "Scars Worn By Time" (OCRemix)
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I'm just going to get right into it. I've been keeping myself mostly offline
for a while, only jumping online to read some heavily curated RSS feeds, deal
with a few problems, chat with my partners, and watch some videos with one of
said partners. Otherwise, I keep myself pretty much oblivious to most of the
internet.
Like, I still browse the smolweb occasionally, but most of my time has been
helping take care of family, reading, catching up on old games I never got to
play in the past, listening to music, and overall trying to keep my anxiety as
low as possible. I've also gone back to my blog[0], partly as a middle claw
to the people who tell me I'm "just feeding the AI machine" by doing so, and
admittedly, that mentality is why I've been staying off the smolnet a bit more.
Most of the phlogs I kept running into were killing my good mood as much as
if I'd been doomscrolling on social media, and just like with social media, I
knew it wasn't healthy for me to just constantly submerge myself in that sort
of mentality of "be angry at everything". So, I pretty much stopped. Things on
the smolweb/indieweb/cozyweb/etc... started making me smile a bit more, like
seeing cute pixel art, and reading about how someone was using and enjoying
their iBook G4, so I focused myself there to try and claw back some of my own
sanity and happiness.
No, I don't hate the smolnet. I just need to keep myself away from all the
doom and gloom before it puts me back on the same darkened path that social
media nearly ruined me with. A lot of people are angry over political issues
and such, but if I can't help myself, I can't help others, so I have to filter
things just to keep myself going. It's why I haven't been on XMPP or IRC, and why I've rarely updated anywhere. At least with my blog, I can write while
offline in MarsEdit and upload it next time I'm online, and while same with my
phlog, it's a bit more difficult to remember about that one. Maybe I just need
to make an app for myself... It'd be a good reason to learn Obj-C after all.
I'll try to update occasionally. Just...no promises. My creative juices have
been at an all-time low because of all the negativity, and so has my desire to
journal/blog/phlog. I can't say I'll be able to keep up with too much while I'm
like this, but I'll try.
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[0]:
https://gallowsgryph.dreamwidth.org/
