,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Friday, July 29th 2022 - Setbacks, Both Real and Imagined
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

I don't know if anyone reads my phlog. It doesn't really matter to me
either way, it's mostly a place for me to vent and ramble. There's no
consistent subject matter for anyone to latch onto, and I recognize
that.

That being said, if someone is keeping up on this journal, they would
notice that yesterday I missed an entry. I try to post every day
during the week, I only take Sundays off. Anyway I was in a bad place
yesterday, physically, and I've been in a bad mental headspace for a
little while now.

Physically, my diverticulitis is flaring up. I'm out of fiber and I
was trying to just tough it out until payday. This makes it nearly
impossible to study on anything, as I can't sit down, so I haven't
gotten any studying done since it started up on Wed. I won't go into
any gross details, just know that it's miserable.

Emotionally, I've been struggling with maintaining discipline in the
lack of my motivation. It's hard for me, I've never exerter much
discipline in my life. Everything I've accomplished has been because
I was motivated to accomplish it.

Which means I haven't accomplished much. As I'm rarely motivated.

Anyway I am between therapists right now. I have no idea when I'll be
able to see one again. So for now, this phlog is my therapy. And,
along with some choice chemicals, my distraction from my physical
discomfort.
This is a short entry. Like I said, I can't sit down.

- diviniti