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Title: An eventful, and sad week.
Date: 2022-05-17
Device: Desktop
Mood: Middling.
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I feel kind of unstable at the moment.
As per the trajectory, my grandfather passed away
last week. Quietly, in the night. My dad was with
him at the time. I'd been with him a few hours
before. He was agitated, too hot, and was kicking
off his covers. But he couldn't speak, so I just
tried to comfort him, told him I loved him.
The doctor said it was more likely that it was due
to heart damage after his Covid/pneumonia earlier
in the year, exacerbated by the cancer. I think
that's a medical perspective on what most people
would just call 'old age'.
A few days of quiet after, and then back to work.
But I've been snappy and probably quite unpleasant
at work. I seem to have such a short temper at the
moment. I don't particularly feel grief, I don't
think; I have had a lot of time to adjust to the
reality that he was very old and wouldn't be with
us much longer. But if there's grief in there,
it's squeezing out of the cracks in other ways.
